Family Matters – The Ten Commandments of Aging Motherhood

Married, widowed, or divorced, you most likely have children and grandchildren. In today's world where more single women are opting to have children, this may be true as well.

Consider these four ground rules that you can and should establish with your adult children. They should be able to:

* Honor your privacy and independence.
* Not make unreasonable request of time or money.
* Visit and call regularly but not daily (unless you prefer it that way).
* Enjoy you as a person and friend – not just as their mother.

Your grandchildren may still be toddlers or young adults at this point in your life. You will be a prime example to them of what it means to age well, gracefully, elegantly. They will learn this by what they observe in your behavior, your speech, but most of all, your attitude. You have the right to remind them of acceptable behavior when they are in your house but leave the disciplining to Mom and Dad.

And now, my dear, I ask you to consider: The 10 Commandments of Aging Motherhood

1. Thou shalt not make unreasonable demands of your children.
2. Thou shalt not be an enabler, continuously giving hand-outs toan able-bodied adult child.
3. Thou shalt not give unwanted advice.
4. Thou shalt not "tidy up" when visiting in their homes nor overstay your welcome when visiting.
5. Thou shalt not make snide remarks about the son-in-law or daughter-in-law.
6. Thou shalt not complain about your personal problems.
7. Thou shalt not give gifts simply because you like them.
8. Thou shalt not pry into their personal lives.
9. Thou shalt not bring up painful memories in conversation.
10. Thou shalt not fret when they do not call or visit as frequently as you would like.

Remember that they have their own lives to live.