My Recipe For Roxie Heart's Twisted Sour Cream Breads

There's nothing more comforting than delicious warm bread. That being said, it was a cool summer evening and it was time to make some bread. I was feeling a little gross because I had been watching "Law and Order: SVU" and I thought it might be time for some comfort. Therefore, I decided on my creamy and fluffy sour cream twist breads. As I was thinking about how to make the twists on the bread, then it got me thinking about all the twisted people that they put inside that show I was just watching.

What does make a twisted person twisted? Psychiatrists have blamed it on all sorts of things. The number one reason people point to is the parents. In a way that certainly must be true. After all, parents are your guiding lights and the first example you have as a human being. On the other hand there are many people who have risen above unstable parental relationships or even abusive parental relationships. Unfortunately not every person works the same way. Some may rise above their situations, some may become exactly what their situations are, or some may take what they saw in and they become a twisted individual.

Plus, what makes a person finally become labeled "twisted?" It is all a matter of perspective. To me anyone that is "twisted" per say, has a mix up in their brain that some how expresses itself in its outward environment. To others "twisted" could just be someone who is screwed up sexually in the brain, which I find to be very narrow-minded. There are many people on different levels that can be considered twisted without having to do with anything sexual in nature.

Let's take a subject and explore more. I'm going to pick a lighter version of a twisted individual. In the movie "Chicago" (yes, we are looking at a movie) we witness a full range of women criminals. The one I want to talk about is Roxie Heart. I pick Renee's character, because we have the fortune of not knowing her background (which is typical of a criminal before police know them).

Roxie kills her lover. She does this not just because he is leaving her, but because he was lying about his show business connections. Throughout the movie she does everything and anything she can to get ahead as a performer. What made her like this? Murderess, liar, and selfish she is to the core, and also very twisted. She grew up in the depression so it could likely be her environment that brought her to this point. Was it her lack of money and attention in her childhood bring her to believe that it is okay to do all of this?

We will never know completely. Number one, she is primarily a movie character, and number tow, we will never truly be able to see into a twisted person 'mind. After all, a twisted person can never really see into their own brains, so how can we presume to do so? We just have to hope that these twisted people have the ability to get certain mental patterns under control. Psychiatrists are helpful, but they will never completely know the true extent of the human brain and what it does.

If you want twisted I suggest sticking with the bread:

"Roxie Heart's Twisted Sour Cream Breads" *

Ingredients: 1 package active dry yeast, 1/4 cup warm water, 1 and 1/2 cups all-purpose flour, 1 and 1/2 cups whole-wheat flour, 1 and 1/2 tsp salt, 1/2 cup cold butter, 1/2 cup all vegetable shortening, 2 large eggs, 1/2 cup sour cream, 3 tsps vanilla extract, 3/4 cup sugar, and 3/4 cup Splenda.

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1) Dissolve yeast in the warm water. In another bowl mix the flours and salt. Cut in the butter and shortening with a pastry blender. Stir in the eggs, sour cream, 1 tsp vanilla, and the yeast mixture. Cover and refrigerate overnight.

2) Combine the sugar, Splenda, and 2 tsps of vanilla. Lightly sprinkle 1/2 cup on a work surface. Divide the dough in half, put one portion back in the fridge. On the sugared surface roll the other portion into a 12 x 8 inch rectangle. Sprinkle with 1 tbs sugar mixture. Fold the rectangle into thirds.

3) Pre-heat the oven to 375 degrees.

4) Give the dough a quarter turn, repeat rolling, sugaring, and folding two more times. Roll into a 12 x 8 inch rectangle. Cut into 4 x 1 inch strips. Twist each strip two or three times. Place on chilled ungreased baking sheets. Repeat with the remaining dough and sugar mixture.

5) Bake for about 14 minutes. They should be lightly browned. Immediately remove to wire racks to cool.

6) Enjoy with a fresh cup of coffee.

* Base of recipe from Taste of Home and I molded it from there.