Dating for a long time has been used to refer to the process of courtship among human beings. The original term was mostly used in reference to the process of a man and woman’s courtship activities. However, of late society is being compelled to accommodate the thought of women dating fellow women and the same […]
Dating for a long time has been used to refer to the process of courtship among human beings. The original term was mostly used in reference to the process of a man and woman’s courtship activities. However, of late society is being compelled to accommodate the thought of women dating fellow women and the same aspect for gay men. The dating game therefore had its basic principles and expectations ranging from community to community.
The male perspective towards dating
In most communities across the globe, the man is always expected to play the leading role in matters pertaining to marriage and relationships involving a man and woman. In this spirit it is therefore quite clear that most communities do not approve of the woman making the first initiative towards dating. This to me puts the woman in a rather awkward position as she may only be limited to making choices from among those men who bother to express interest in her. The begging question in this setup therefore is what would happen if a woman desires a particular man who may be quite oblivious of her perceptions?
Many men would consider any woman who makes the first move as a cheap or maybe a man hungry woman, a perception that may further erode the man’s respect towards the woman. It would be difficult for the woman to convince the man that she is not in the habit of hooking every man who may be available. In some instances the woman may as well be mistaken for targeting the man’s wealth should he happen to be of better economic standing than the woman
Just like the man taking the wrong perception of a woman who takes the courage to make the first move in a dating scenario, the same man may change the entire situation into an experimental spree as most men are accustomed to the elusive hunting game which leaves them feeling dominant at the end from the thought of having won yet another soul. There would be every reason for the man to treat the resulting relationship as less important since he hasn’t played any hunting roles in the whole process. In this situation if the woman experiences some problems in the relationship that may need serious addressing from the man, the man may very easily dismiss such requests as nonsense; after all he may shrug off and claim that he wasn’t even interested in the relationship after all. It is because of this male perception perhaps that most women initiated dating relationships don’t get far enough to mature into marriages.
The female perspective towards dating
As much as the men may feel as though they have to be the drivers in any dating scenario, a much closer look may prove otherwise. Although the man may always want to stand out as the decision maker in any relationship, women have a way of manipulating the men towards their personal objective. To this allegation we can recount numerous stories of men being manipulated into doing things they would not ordinarily do in sober circumstances. From stories such as those of Samson in the bible to many more modern ones, it is quite clear that women have their own style of getting their way round the dating setup.
A female friend once confessed to me that she always knows how to attract the man she wants into approaching her and subsequently making the first move. This tactic to her meant that the man would continue treating the relationship with the importance it deserved as he would be holding the perception that he is the one in control. She also says that she cannot make the mistake of saying yes to his advances on the first date because this would again leave him thinking lowly of her, This revelation left me trying to wonder whether in many cases the woman initiates and leads the man towards her own goal while the man takes the pleasure in the mere perception of having won over the woman’s heart.
This discovery left me with the feeling that as much as the man may bask in the glory of having successfully courted a woman, it is usually the woman who actually had the first and last say in all the events leading to the relationship. Since the society comprehends the male’s leading role in dating it is therefore for the sake of convenience that women also have formulated their style of countering the situation. This is a typical case of the hunter learning to shoot without missing and the hunted sparrow in turn learning to fly without perching.
What do both men and women consider when dating
The factors that men and women consider in a dating scenario differ from community to community depending on the society’s most treasured values. In the olden days women would strive to win the heart of the strongest man in the village because this would guarantee her security both physical as well as regarding food. Special attention was also given to men with special talents in the community as they would always guarantee a woman high societal rating. The strategy has not changed much as only the settings have changed with money and other forms of wealth taking the leading role.
Since every woman desires the company of a powerful man simply because this also transforms her into the same status. It is therefore the man who is faced with a bigger challenge in life to live up to the expectation of women or risk being sidelined in the society. This demand leaves the man with the enormous task of having to fend off potential competition by beating them at the aspect of wealth creation. While a man would mostly be looking at core values such as basic etiquette and compassion in a woman, the woman’s outlook towards a potential man may be more influenced by his achievements rather than the individual himself.
This may explain why most women will marry very ugly wealthy individuals while the man will more certainly go for beauty and manners as opposed to the woman’s wealth. To be more precise most men dread the thought of courting a wealthy woman as they fear that she may be too domineering and controlling her would be an uphill task. Marrying a wealthy woman to most men would be tantamount to inviting rivalry and competition into the house. A situation that most men would not approve off as every man longs to enjoy unrivaled authority at his home regardless of how useless he may appear before the general public.